Anybody have any good jokes? (Not too dirty though) 
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Does anyone have any good Jokes?
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 RailRider |
Does anyone have any good Jokes? |
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
 (2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/26/09 14:00:04) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
Last Edited By: RailRider 10/30/09 02:37:28.
Edited 1 time.
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RailRider |
Going to Hell! | ||
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
(2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/26/09 14:07:35) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
Hell jokes are funny!
A guy gets on a plane and sits down next to a lady that is reading a book. He gets curious and says whatcha reading there? She says the bible! He smiles and says Oh, you believe all that crap? She said yes! He says what about that guy who was swallowed by the wale? That ones funny! She said you mean Jonas, yes I believe it all! He said, how do you know that story is true? She said I don't know really but I will ask him when I get to heaven. The guy says what if he is not in heaven when you get there? She said.. well,, then I guess you will have to ask him for me! 
Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
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RailRider |
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
(2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/26/09 14:13:01) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head! But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head." Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
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RailRider |
Morons! | ||
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
(2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/26/09 14:20:05) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
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RailRider |
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
(2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/26/09 14:26:09) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
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RailRider |
Another Church Joke! | ||
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1 Crazy Bicycle Collecting Mo-Fo!
(2500+) Posts: 17347 (10/30/09 02:36:36) AKA-Raleigh Ron! � |
A Preacher was explaining why he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There was a hush within the congregation because no one wanted him to leave. Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!" There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?" Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "Screw him!!" Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my MOUTH! Email me at raleighrons@aol.com
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Coasterkrate |
If told right, this is the greatest joke ever | ||
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Bicycle-o-holic! (25+ Posts)
Posts: 84 (01/30/10 19:08:43) |
If told right, this is the greatest joke ever.
You will need a glass of milk ready. Ask the audience: What's an ugly girl say after sex? Answer: put milk in mouth and let it spill out of your mouth as you say: I LOOVEEE YOUUUU.  Your Signature ...
Last Edited By: Coasterkrate
01/30/10 19:11:28.
Edited 1 times.
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